Just letting off a little steam

I just need to let off a little steam right now if for no other reason than to try and make myself feel a little better.

I’m really pissed off that, for all the good I’ve tried to do since I became unwell, people have decided to turn their backs on me. 

Since the 2010 General Election, I have tried to stand up for the people hit by the cuts to the welfare budget and the associated so-called ‘reforms’ despite having been unaffected by them personally.  I have been an opponent of the welfare ‘reforms’ not because I don’t like the Tories or because I’m a left-winger but because it’s been the right thing to do.  Anyone with an ounce of social conscience or plain humanity would have done the same, yet I have been labelled a left-winger by the politically right-wing supporters, attracted a vast amount of abuse for my highlighting of the inequality fuelled by the current UK Government and their discriminatory and illegal practices and have found myself an outcast.

Now I am facing my own struggle to survive as I am about to be personally affected by the welfare ‘reforms’ and budget cuts but it seems as though there is no one there to help me.  Soon I won’t have the money to feed myself, how bloody ironic.

I have tried to educate social worker students in the subject of mental health from a service user perspective and give them the practical skills they need to function successfully in their chosen field, yet I have had my efforts thrown back in my face by a vocal but rather childish minority.  It seems ironic that some of those students who have so horribly and cowardly attacked me and should not really be allowed out in the field with such attitudes are probably some of the students I helped successfully pass the module that will allow them out into the field on their work placements.  How galling is that for me?

I even took a teacher training course to inform the work I was doing with the social work students and to improve the range of work I could look for as well as the level of my qualifications but now I’m no longer asked to be involved with the social work courses and the level of the qualification won’t exactly qualify me for much in the way of teaching jobs.  I probably won’t even receive my certification until I am either too sick to work or in hospital suffering from malnutrition or starvation.

For all the attempts I have made to improve my lot in life and to help others in my own small way, I have earned no respect, no friends and no miniscule improvement for my own life.  People who called me a friend have conveniently turned their backs on me now I am in need and I am met with stony silence from them.

I am not surprised by any of this really, just saddened that I am being abandoned by the people I have helped.  I am not exactly a fan of the human race because of the way I have been treated by so many of them in the past.  I have, however, always tried to help others, despite my personal inclination to remain apart from the rest of humanity, and feel that I have earned some reciprocity.  It seems, though, that the rest of humanity doesn’t agree with me.