Thursday 11 November 2010

Mid-life blues

Plato had the character of Socrates say that “the unexamined life is not worth living” in his dialogue entitled Apology. However, as I reach the age that is characterised by the mid-life crisis and I look back at my life to see what I may have achieved, I find that my achievements really amount to nothing despite engaging in a quest for spiritual enlightenment, knowledge and acceptance of the things I am unable to change. I have, over the last few years, engaged in a rigorous examination of my life and found that, contrary to Socrates’ assertion, my life, though examined, has not been worth living.

Once upon a time I believed that I had within me a greatness just waiting to be unleashed but, unfortunately, I have not found the key to the prison in which it is trapped and it seems to me at this very moment that I never will. There has been nothing in my life that has given me a feeling of fulfilment, nothing that has truly made my life worth living. What then is the point of such a life? Where am I to find meaning in an increasingly meaningless existence? I am lost in a twisted and desolate landscape, alone and without a map or compass to guide me. I may have people around me but I am desperately and totally alone in the darkness.

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